“Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all; Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.”

“(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)”

Although it is generally believed that Jonah was written sometime during the postexilic period, little else is known about either the date or the place of its composition. Scholars believe that Jonah was written during the postexilic period based on its use of the Hebrew language and on its view of Nineveh as belonging to the distant past (Laymon 480). Like Job, the title of the Book of Jonah reflects the name of its central character and not that of its author, of whom nothing is known (Laymon 480).

Most modern scholars do not view Jonah as a historical document for a variety of reasons. Not only does it not read like most historical accounts in the Bible, but many insist that its meaning is obscured by approaching it as if it were such (Harmon 872). In addition, the many miraculous events depicted in the story, such as Jonah’s being swallowed by a whale, also seem to support the idea that Jonah is more a parable than a historical account, at least in the mind of modern scholars (Harmon 872).

The central message of Jonah is that the same God who loves and moves on behalf of Israel is also the God who loves and moves on behalf of all the nations of the Earth (Laymon 48). During the Babylonian exile, Israel had endured great hardships at the hands her enemies and was in danger of loosing sight of her responsibility to be a light unto all the nations of the world (Harmon 872). Perhaps somewhat understandably, most Jews at the time desired little else but that all other nations would be destroyed by God’s wrath (Harmon 872). What was needed was a prophet who could call Israel back to her divine mission. This need was answered by the author of Jonah.

When Jonah was called to prophesy to the city of Nineveh that she would be destroyed in forty days if she did not repent of her sins-*- he was, like many in Israel would have been, reluctant. Jonah did not want the Ninevites to repent, but to be consumed by God’s anger. Instead of traveling to Nineveh as he had been directed, Jonah instead attempted to flee from the presence of God by boarding a ship bound for the city of Tarshish. Soon, however, God made a terrible storm to come upon Jonah’s ship. The Gentiles who were aboard, sensing that some divine force was being directed against them, decided to cast lots to see upon whom the wrath of God had settled—the lot fell on Jonah. Although Jonah recommended that the Gentiles throw him overboard so that they would not die with him, they were not willing at first to sacrifice his life for their own. They kept rowing until it seemed by the raging of the storm that God’s will was self-evident. With Jonah’s permission they cast him into the sea and then offered sacrifices and prayer to the God of Israel that Jonah’s death might not be laid to their account.

The irony of the story thus far is that the Gentile sailors appear more pious than Jonah, a prophet of Israel. Although Jonah was quite willing to let the entire population of a great city perish because of his hatred for them, the Gentile sailors were reluctant to cast Jonah overboard, even when to do so appeared to be in their own self-interest (Laymon 481). When they eventually did cast Jonah overboard, they offered sacrifices and prayers to the God of Israel that He might forgive them (Laymon 481).

After Jonah had been thrown overboard he was swallowed by a great fish. While in the belly of the fish Jonah prayed to God that he might be delivered. God heard Jonah’s prayer and answered it. After three days and three nights the fish spat Jonah out on dry land so that he could continue his journey to Nineveh. After finally reaching Nineveh and delivering God’s message to its inhabitants Jonah’s worst fears were realized. The king of NineVa& arose upon hearing the words of Jonah’s prophecy and girded himself in sackcloth and ashes. Then, by a royal decree he commanded that all in his kingdom, man and beast, be girded in sackcloth like himself and with fasting and prayer repent of their evil ways.

Upon witnessing this spectacle Jonah became angry and prayed to God saying that he knew that He was a merciful and gracious God who was quick to relent from punishment and that this was why he (Jonah) had fled to Tarshish. Jonah was so angry with God that he begged God to take his life from him. God responded by asking Jonah bluntly “Is it right for you to be angry?” Still hoping that God would bring destruction upon Nineveh, Jonah decided to wait on the outskirts of the city to see what would happen (Laymon 482).

No other prophet had ever been as successful as Jonah (Laymon 482). With one sentence he had convinced a great city to repent of its evil ways and to worship the God of Israel. Yet Jonah was so upset with the situation that he wanted to die. Obviously Jonah misunderstood Israel’s call to be a blessing to all the nations of the Earth. Although Nineveh had been saved, Jonah had not.

So God made a bush to rise and cover Jonah’s head to give him comfort from the heat of the day. The next night, however, God made a worm which devoured the plant. At this Jonah was angry and again said, “it is better for me to die than to live.” To this God answered saying “is it right for you to be angry about the bush? You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labor and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?”

Although Jonah was concerned about the plant, he could care less for the thousands of men, women, and children of Nineveh, all of whom God loved. With these last few words God exposed the absurdity of Jonah’s anger. Some scholars believe that God’s description of the Ninevites as not knowing their right hand from their left is a reference to their religious ignorance (Laymon 482). Although this interpretation is disputed by some, it does serve to poignantly depict God’s love for all of mankind.

As many scholars point out, it is sad that many Christians today consider the meaning of Jonah’s story to be revealed in the three verses which refer to his having been swallowed by a fish (Harmon 482). Despite its age, the book of Jonah continues to illuminate our understanding of the true nature of God’s love.

Works Cited

Harmon, Nolan B., ed. The Interpreter’s Bible. 12 volumes. New York: Abingdon Press, 1955. Vol. 11.
Laymon, Charles M., ed. The Interpreter’s One-Volume Commentary On the Bible. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1971.

George Carlin renders his opinion on Ufology and religion (Christianity in particular) in this hilarious excerpt from “When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?”

Good stuff from Carlin, as always, but it becomes more and more apparent that he suffers from a Voltaire Complex. Like him or not he is undeniably the ironic, irascible, disagreeable, yet somehow lovable rapier wit of our age.

My friends will probably catch an inside joke somewhere in there since I’ve been preaching this particular line lately.

This much brutal honesy would have got you burned at the stake back in the day. When you defy the basic premiss of your (or another) culture people get real nervous, even the ones who aren’t religious.

They Came From Out of the Sky

I find it discouraging- and a bit depressing- when I notice the unequal treatment afforded by the media to UFO believers on the one hand, and on the other, to those who believe in an invisible supreme being who inhabits the sky. Especially as the latter belief applies to the whole Jesus-Messiah-Son-of-God fable.

You may have noticed that, in the media, UFO believers are usually referred to as buffs, a term used to diminish and marginalize them by relegating them to the ranks of hobbyists and mere enthusiasts. They are made to seem like kooks and quaint dingbats who have the nerve to believe that, in an observable universe of trillions upon trillions of stars, and most likely many hundreds of billions of potentially inhabitable planets, some of those planets may have produced life-forms capable of doing things that we can’t do.

On the other hand those who believe in an eternal, all-powerful being, a being who demands to be loved and adored unconditionally and who punishes and rewards according to his whims are thought to be worthy, upright, credible people. This, in spite of the large numbers of believers who are clearly close-minded fanatics.

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed– and, by the way, unexplained– sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.

This does not even begin to include the widespread testimony of not only highly trained, experienced military and civilian pilots who are selected for their jobs, in part, for their above-average eyesight and mental stability, but also of equally well-trained, experienced law-enforcement officers. Such pilots and law-enforcement people are known to be serious, sober individuals who would have quite a bit to lose were they to be associated with anything resembling kooky, outlandish beliefs. Nonetheless, they have taken the risk of revealing their experiences because they are convinced they have seen something objectively real that they consider important.

All of those accounts are ignored by the media.

Granted, the world of UFO-belief has its share of kooks, nuts and fringe people, but have you ever listened to some of these religious true-believers? Have you ever heard of any extreme, bizarre behavior and outlandish claims associated with religious zealots? Could any of them be considered kooks, nuts or dingbats? A fair person would have to say yes.

But the marginal people in these two groups don’t matter in this argument. What matters is the prejudice and superstition built into the media coverage of the two sets of beliefs. One is treated reverently and accepted as received truth, the other is treated laughingly and dismissed out of hand.

As evidence of the above premise, I offer one version of a typical television news story heard each year on the final Friday of Lent:

Today is Good Friday, observed by Christians worldwide as a day that commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, whose death redeemed the sins of mankind.

Here is the way it should be written:

Today is Good Friday, observed worldwide by Jesus buffs as the day on which the popular, bearded cultural figure, sometimes referred to as The Messiah, was allegedly crucified and– according to legend– died for mankind’s so-called sins. Today kicks off a “holy” weekend that culminates on Easter Sunday, when, it is widely believed, this dead “savior”– who also, by the way, claimed to be the son of a sky-dwelling, invisible being known as God, mysteriously “rose from the dead.”

According to the legend, by volunteering to be killed and actually going through with it, Jesus saved every person who has ever lived– and every person who ever will live– from an eternity of suffering in a fiery region popularly known as hell, providing– so the story goes– that the person to be “saved” firmly believes this rather fanciful tale.

That would be an example of unbiased news reporting. Don’t wait around for it to happen. The aliens will land first.”